What is your name and grade? My name is Aakash Darji. I am a junior.
What’s your favorite restaurant? Ooh! It’s a fast food chain—I love Jimmy John’s. I think their ingredients are, like, the freshest thing ever. All the vegetables are fresh; the meat is fresh; their mayo is good, even though it’s just Hellmann’s. They’ve got guac spread which is good, the chips are good, the cookies are good. Everything about Jimmy John’s is goated.
What’s your favorite conspiracy theory? Obviously, I don’t believe in this, but basically, there’s this group of people who think that the earth is flat, and they think we’re trapped behind an ice wall. And they’re like, “Oh, we’re going to go through this gate and we’re going to discover, like, Agartha or something.” And, they’ll come up with this crazy lore, and it’s low-key interesting. Like, they’ll make a whole map of it, and there are lands behind the ice wall and stuff. Obviously, it’s not real, but it’s just interesting to me.
What is your happy place? My friend Will’s house, because every time we hang out, it’s over there, and I probably have the most memories there of me and my friends. Or, my own room, because I just relax over there. I don’t do anything. I can just chill out, not worry about anything. But, probably Will’s house, because it’s so memorable.
Who is your favorite music artist? Lil Baby. He’s my goat. I’ve been listening to him for years now for seven years-ish, I’ve kept up with all this music. Every album I listen to as soon as it comes out; I’m a 0.1% top listener on Spotify for Lil Baby. My favorite song by him is basic, but it’s “Freestyle,” because I used to listen to it a lot, and it’s stuck with me over the years. I think he has a good flow; I know people say he’s repetitive, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
If money were no object, what would be the first thing you’d buy? Hmm… Probably, an island. No, no scratch that. I’ll buy the Los Angeles Lakers, I’ll buy the team. And why? LeBron. If I buy the Lakers, then I can meet LeBron.
What’s the strangest purchase you’ve ever made? I spent $200 on Funko Pops. I don’t know why. It was an impulse buy, and then I had to return them because I genuinely had no idea why I bought them. It was the weirdest purchase ever. I didn’t have any space for them, I didn’t need them, but at the time, I thought they were cool. And then after they arrived, I was like, “What am I going to do with this?” So then I returned them.
What would your ideal date look like? It’s got to be something fun; can’t be boring. You can’t just go somewhere and talk, eat something, and then it’s over with, you know? Then, you have to, say, go golfing or something like that. Or bowling, low-key, that’s decent. Again, I don’t have much experience in this field, so I don’t know.
What is your biggest red flag? I don’t like people who judge. Say you just met someone and you judge them based off of their interests or something, but you don’t know the person fully. So, like, why are you doing that? I don’t know how to word it; it’s just definitely a red flag.
What’s your favorite ice cream topping? Brownie. I don’t know if it’s really a topping; I just eat ice cream with a brownie, like, the cold ice cream, and then with the warm brownie, you know? So, the ice cream cools down the brownie, and then you can eat them together, and it all melts in your mouth and mixes together and tastes really good.
What’s your proudest accomplishment in life? Being a Top 500 Overwatch player. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was at a time when everyone used to play that game. I was in seventh grade, and everyone played the game with, like, millions of players worldwide. I ranked 384th in the world at one point. Yeah, that’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but the proudest… I don’t know… DECA? I was pretty proud of my project last year, because we put a lot of work into it.
What’s something about you that nobody knows? Some people know, but almost no one knows: I’m 7% British. You can connect the dots.
Who is the most overrated celebrity? Michael B. Jordan. He’s a six at best. Overrated. I don’t know. He’s too hyped up; everyone thinks he’s super attractive, but objectively… Except for him, Playboi Carti. I used to like him, but now I’ve expanded my taste, and he’s kind of overrated. His music isn’t really music. It’s hype and loud, but at the end of the day, I don’t consider it to be actual music. So, although I get the appeal, I think he’s overrated.
What would be the worst age to stay forever? I’m in between three months and, like, 90. At three months, you’re stuck in a state where you’re not even conscious. You don’t understand anything, and so you basically have no life. But when you’re 90, your body is totally deteriorated and you can’t do anything, even if you wanted to. But I think I would have to choose three months, because you’re not conscious yet.
What’s your biggest regret in life? There was a time when I was younger and I didn’t understand too much, and I ripped—this is true, by the way—I ripped a base set Holo Charizard, which was absolutely devastating, because if I still had that today, it doesn’t even matter if the condition was trash, I would literally make thousands of dollars. My second answer would be wasting time, but that right there was, like, it lost me so much money. I know I didn’t understand at the time, but it was so bad. It still haunts me.
If you could jump into a pool of anything, what would it be full of? I mean, the simple answer would be money. Like, if you jump into a pool of money, it’s just a bunch of money. I wouldn’t say water, because I can’t swim. Just putting that in there; that’s something about me. Yeah, but it would probably be money, specifically $100 bills, to max it out.
Is there something else that you want to tell readers that I didn’t mention? This is where I will put in the fact that I don’t have a perm. Everyone thinks that I have a perm, but I don’t; it’s all natural. What else should I add? Oh, yes: I’m a huge watch collector. I have over 30 watches, and my collection is worth over $60,000. I have everything from Casios to Tag Heuers and a Rolex, so I’m big into watches.
