I wake up everyday to go to school. I go to school very optimistically and enthusiastically hoping for a good day. I go to first period… my hopes start getting crushed by the load of homework and projects I get… but it is manageable, I think. But by the end of ninth period, I am usually buried with the readings, lab reports and projects that are due the next day. I suck it up and go to my off-season workout or to a club, etc. I then go home at about 6 or 7 p.m. and eat while doing homework until about 1 or 2 a.m. That is usually when it hits me: is all that work worth it?!
I look at people who are already in college; so many of them have not overworked and overstretched themselves this much and they are happily enjoying their life. Is all the stress that I am putting on my shoulders worth the future that I am promised to have?! Is staying up every night until 3 a.m., being involved in numerous clubs and activities, and taking all AP classes actually going to get me anywhere? Looking at my slightly older peers, I’m just not sure anymore.
But what I do know is that I lost my old happy self, the one that was not sleep deprived, annoyed or sick of school. It saddens me to look back at who I was and what I have become. I know that every single college counselor, teacher and parent recommends that you try your best and take rigorous classes to impress colleges so that you can go to a prestigious one and get scholarships. Now, I understand the scholarship concept since nobody wants to graduate with a lot of debt. But really, is the difference between Oakton Community College and Harvard that dramatic that we should sacrifice ourselves in the process?! Is Harvard (or any prestigious school for that matter) worth it when we can’t even recognize ourselves by the end of it all?
I don’t know, but I sure would like to know because so far I think I am leading myself into a delusional fantasy world where trying hard gets you far in life.
Anonymous #3 • Apr 21, 2013 at 10:54 am
You sound like the typical junior who has yet to understand that colleges want to see you doing well in what YOU love to do and not in what others THINK you should do. Re-evaluate your schedule and think about what classes interest you and don’t. If you’re not an English person, don’t take the AP option. Focus that attention onto another class you actually like. Same with activities. You don’t have to be the leader of everything. It may seem hard to take a step back, but your mental health will thank you when you’re not trying to organize 10000000 things. AP isn’t everything and neither is being involved in everything.
Anonymous #2 • Apr 20, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Do what you love and what you feel is worth it—whatever you do, do it for yourself. I know there’s such a big emphasis on “colleges want this, colleges want that”, but in reality, college is a total crapshoot. Getting into a certain college doesn’t mean you’re superior to your peers, and not getting into a college doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.
Universities are nothing but disgusting corporations, despite what they say to the contrary; there’s only so much you can control. In the end, if you do things that are meaningful to you, the rest will follow through.
Trust yourself.
Janelle Limson • Apr 20, 2013 at 9:52 pm
THIS YEAR IN A NUT SHELL. You read what’s exactly on my mind, Maggi!
Anonymous • Apr 20, 2013 at 8:40 pm
Very well said… You have spoken what is on the mind of many juniors.