THIS ARTICLE IS A WORK OF SATIRE. MUCH OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION HAS BEEN FABRICATED FOR SATIRICAL PURPOSES AND IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has resigned from his position in the Russian government in pursuit of a greater challenge: the sport of chess boxing.

“All this assassination and election winning has gotten too easy. It’s almost like the results are predetermined,” the now former Russian president said in a recent interview. “I need something that will push my limits a bit more.”

Chess boxing, of course, is the niche sport that involves continuous, rigorously timed rounds of playing chess and boxing between two opponents. The winner is the first to knock out or checkmate the opponent. While rather unpopular, has recently picked up in popularity, most famously with the Mogul Chessboxing Championship. Now with the sport on the rise and the start of the new election, Putin has decided to step down and pursue this dream of his.

Putin, though a massive influence on the world of Russian and even global politics, has decided to delve head first into this interest of his that he has kept secret from the public for the past two decades. Considering it is the perfect mix of brains, brawns, and skill, Putin will be working to master this sport over at least the next six years. Considering his mastery in judo, debatably one of the most difficult sports in this world, Putin considers the mastery of chess boxing achievable, but not without great challenge and sacrifice.

“One sport is just too easy, I think this will provide a real challenge for me. While I have mastered judo, I have not yet mastered chess or boxing,” Putin said. “I believe that when I’m done, my opponents will be so intimidated by my big bulky muscles and impressive intelligence that they will simply forfeit at the mere sight of me.”

While this is a big change in his life, Putin may return to run for reelection in the next term (six years from now) after he has mastered the art of chess and boxing at the same time. While this could mean a dramatic change in the world of Russian politics and the freedom of its people, Putin has chosen to tunnel-vision his way into this secret passion of his. If he is to win in any future presidential elections after his return, perhaps he could utilize what he learns in chess boxing to become a more active and efficient president.