Have you ever listened to the radio and just closed your eyes and felt the music? Not just the lyrics, but the heart and soul that was poured into them? Not just the background music, but all the thought that must have been put into coming up with those beautiful chords that pull at your heart strings? Not just the vocals, but all the years of voice lessons that the artist must have taken in order to reach that level of vocal perfection?

Have you ever thought, “Wow, I really wish I could hear myself on the radio one day”? Well, here’s your chance: Follow these easy steps and you’ll be cruising down the road to radio success in no time.

Start out by coming up with a message for the song that will surely convince teen listeners to make good decisions. Drinking, smoking, disobeying your parents and going to wild parties are a great idea.

Second, start writing your lyrics. If you can’t think of any more lyrics once you hit the chorus, that’s okay, just keep repeating the same two lines over and over again and people will definitely like it.

The third step in creating your hit single is to put as much vulgarity into your lyrics as possible– teens love that. Also press the same three chords on your synthesiser pad for the duration of the song– it creates a very catchy melody. Don’t forget to drop the bass.

My last piece of advice for all you aspiring top music artists speaks for itself. You don’t even have to be a good singer to record a good song– that’s what autotune is for. The more autotune, the merrier.

As long as you follow these five simple steps in coming up with your song, you’ll be hearing it on the radio by morning.